Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Body? Three Steps to Help You Feel More Confident
No matter where you live, this summer has come with a few certainties: more socialization, hotter weather…and bathing suits.
Although we are happy to be out of quarantine and free to roam again, it also means getting back to the activities of summer's past. Just as society and social media have always placed expectations on how we look, post-quarantine is no different. While some individuals spent quarantine learning how to bake bread, starting a business, working out and going vegan, or adopting a few shelter dogs, you may feel left behind and a bit shy when it comes time to strut by the pool.
Have no fear! You are not alone. Follow these three steps to help you feel more confident.
Step 1: CLEANSE
I don’t mean the latest juice cleanse that a TikTok influencer has promoted. I mean, cleanse yourself from that TikTok influencer who thinks she knows your body and your life!
Take a look at the media you consume on a daily basis. I imagine it’s not helping your self-esteem.
As you work to reduce the negative influences on social media, how about adding some positive forces? Here are a few accounts that may add more value to your day.
TikTok
Once you’ve tackled social media, let’s head to your closet. Are you still holding onto that dress that fit in high school and you are convinced you can fit in it again one day? The constant reminder of your prepubescent size is productive for no one. Grab a bag or a box, fill it up, and take that trip to GoodWill. Your body and brain will thank you.
Once you’ve got more space in your closet, it’s time to shop! Find clothes that fit and make you feel good in the body you already have. With clothes that fit, you eliminate the morning struggle of putting something on that doesn’t make you feel good and entering a shame spiral thirty minutes before a big presentation. Having a wardrobe that works for you, you have the time and energy to focus on other things - like how you will totally rock that presentation and get the promotion you’ve been working towards.
If this step seems too difficult, let’s start with adding clothes to your closet that fit and eventually pushing out the ones that don’t. Ask for help too! Reach out to a friend, a family member, or your therapist and invite them on your cleansing journey.
Step 2: SWERVE
To swerve is to dodge on a professional level. Our culture is obsessed with talking about bodies, usually in a negative way. Learn to swerve the comments and conversations and shift the focus onto something productive and enjoyable. In a recent instagram post from Tiffany Roe, a licensed therapist, she outlines some ideas on how to swerve:
“Happy that works for you, but that doesn’t work for me.”
“Isn’t it wild how diets actually don’t work? We’re born intuitive eaters, and I’ve returned to that.”
“Cool. Did you see that new movie?”
“I’m over dieting. I’m sick of the body hate and numbers and insanity. I want inner peace.”
“I smashed my scale. Screw diet culture.”
“Gotta bounce.”
We have the power to choose who we surround ourselves with, and when we can’t escape, we can swerve. After we’ve swerved, it’s important to stick with the boundary and not allow the other person to convince us to join the conversation again. This can be tough, especially for my people pleasers out there - I see you! We set boundaries, and we swerve in order to maintain relationships, not lose them. Boundaries are important for the health of the relationship. When they are respected, the relationship often gets stronger.
Give it a try!
Step 3: CONNECT
Take a few deep breaths, pat yourself on the back for getting to step three, and then call a supportive friend. Disconnect from social media and focus on your real-life relationships in front of you. Remind yourself of what’s on the other side: your life! Engage in the activities you enjoy, find new hobbies, reconnect with old friends, and take risks.
Connecting with a professional can help you on this journey. Therapy provides you with the tools to improve your mood as well as your relationship to food and your body. Society has spent decades telling us who to be, what to wear, what to say, and how to live our lives. Take back your power with the help of therapy. Let’s connect.
